I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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