if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
