She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize