I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
