Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
