I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
