i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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