I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
