at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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