my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Your cock deserves a montage
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
