I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
