How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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