He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
