I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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