She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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