Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I am naked and annoyed.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
