the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize