omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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