My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
