You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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