Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
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