Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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