Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
