No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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