Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
