I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize