in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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