just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
