rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
