I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
