As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Is it penis luge time yet?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
do nipples grow back?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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