:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Randomize
