She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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