took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
