i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
