This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
