theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Randomize
