She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I don't deserve a penis
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
