hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I deserve this hangover.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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