so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Im part way to drunk.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize