He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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