who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
