covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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