So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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