Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
