Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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