You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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