just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
