She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
