This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize