I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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