why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
