so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
