fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
time to smoke my breakfast
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
