Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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