have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
