I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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