I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
