He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
